Quill's Tour - The Dire Straits Chess Club

Hi guys,

We are now in Guatamala in a funky chilled out little town called Flores. Flores is the stop off point for Tikal, the greatest Mayan ruins in the world. We go there today.

Meantime this is a nice place, set around a big tranquil lake. Our hostel has a roof terrace of sorts, and the room costs 80 quetzales for the night (11 dollars or 2 pounds 75 per person - our cheapest yet). The town has cobbled streets and brightly coloured little houses, a few coffee shops, and a couple of bar restaurants that look out or extend into the lake. The eating places are a bit monged out but you can't have everything. Guatamala looks a bit like Chile - nice and green and lush. I was expecting it to be more hassly, but so far so good

Two nights ago we stayed in a town called Chetumal on the border of Mexico which was a bit like going back in time. The only reason we stayed there was to connect with our bus to Flores from Tulum. Chetumal is like what I imagine a small and not very interesting American town from the 1950s to be like. It reminded me of Stepford Wives and the song Killing Me Softly. Lots of depressing clothes shops. Its the kind of place where you spend the evening eating crisps in your hotel room. The hostels all look like cheap motels.

On the way to Flores we had to cross through Belize. We had to pay tax leaving Mexco, leaving Belize even though we didn´t get off the bus, and then taxed entering Guatamala . When we leave Guatamala we will have to pay tax again and again when we leave Mexico.

Belize looked lke an interesting place - jesus. We stopped off at the port there. I think it goes to Honduras. What a mad mix of people, mainly surly blacks. Caribbean music and hip hop pumping out, and this was just in the marina. Loads of jamaicans there that have probably just arrived stowed away in the bottom of a boat from god knows where, Jamaica probably. A few of them were cussing our bus driver. " Watch it man, di ass hole over dere".

Two days ago we left an incredible place - the highlight of or trip so far. Tulum.

Tulum is south of Playa del Carmen about an hour. We went to Tulum to visit the famous ruins, perched on a clifftop overlooking the carribean sea. The ruins are ok but its the lcoation that makes it. But Tulum is not about the ruins. Its about the beach. I'm trying to think of a better looking beach that i´ve been to and i can`t. Sabang in the Philipines, Boracay? Great Barrier reef? Green Island? koukanaries in Skiathos? No. But its not even about how great it looks, its the feeling you get when you`re there.,, you instantly relax...chill out, and it just gets better and better.

We hired a beach hut - or cabana as they're called here -right on the beach. You opened the door and you are on the beach facing caribbean lagoon sea 20 metres away - stunning. 20 dollars a night. Becky had been complaining about the smell of the toilets in the beach huts that we'd rented so far so I did the decent thing and got us a cheaper beach hut without a toilet or shower. Masterstroke.

Tulum has got hardly any people. The more budget acommodation where we stayed -and where the place built up a hippy reputation years ago - is all near the ruins. The further up the beach you go the more pricey the cabanas get. But still, the place has very few people and is quiet and timeless. The beach goes on for an eternity, there`s miles and miles of it, with just this beautful lagoon water... it gets a bit rougher later in the day, but still comfortable for swimming. All the way up the beach there are no beach facing restaurants or bars, just lots of rustic cabanas that are not intrusive in any way.

We met a few people in Tulum including a girl called Fiona who is friends with one of Beckys friends Rachel Batley. They all work in publishing... small world. We met a bloke called Will from Leicestershire. 21 years old, travelling the world, looked exactly like a hobbit. He weighed about 8 stone and came in useful when i'd locked myself out of my cabana by climbing over the top of the door through a gap of about 6 inches.

But we also met another very interesting character - a hippy called Tasso.

Becky and Will were playing chess on the beach at the time (it went on to be becky`s first win at chess), and this chap - a gangly, sun bronzed wizened man in his fifties - came up to them and asked them if they played much. "No, but my husband plays" said Becky.

I was just coming out of the sea and he turned to me and said "so I hear you´re the grandmaster"... and that was where it started.

Tasso was renting one of the beach huts, long term. I think he paid about 5 dollars a day for it, but it didn´t have a bed or even half-way proper security, not even a floor. Just sand, tables and chairs and a hammock. He`s a painter and he sells his stuff to tourists, designers or anyone who´s interested for anything from 20 dollars upwards. He describes himself as a trancultural artist, whatever that means. He's actually not pretentious though. His stuff looks like Picasso to me. I think he changed his name to rhyme with it.

Originally born in Berlin, he´s been everywhere. His accent is also a mixture of everything, but sounds mostly American (he lived there for 20 years). He spends his morning painting (sometimes), in the afternoon he teaches waiters english and in the evening he drinks rum. Lots and lots of it. Often a litre a day. He speaks in a slow thoughtful drunken kind of drawl and he doesn´t have any teeth. Although he`s mellow and blind drunk most of the time, he`s a very sharp guy.

So that day he invited me in to play chess in his beach hut. He was the best chess player I`d ever played, and i´ve played a couple of county level guys. He said he was tought by the best in the yugoslav army! He was really into his chess. He said to me on the first day "you know, right now Kramnic (the world champion) is playing Fritz 10 the computer as we speak?". He was refering to a chess rivalry between man and computer thats been going on since the best player ever Kasparov drew twice and then lost controversially to a computer called Deep Blue about 5 years ago. Its an interesting topic if you`re interested in chess, but it amazed me that he could follow the international chess scene from a beach hut in Tulum. The beach part of Tulum doesn´t have any electricty by the way, apart from a couple of the beach bars and restaurants, and certainly no internet.

After a few games (a draw, a loss and a win) Becky and Fiona turned up and sat watching us play. "So you`re the chess widows, huh" he chuckled through his gummy mouth. "yeah well, thats too bad".

A bottle of rum and three draws later, and we´d run out of coke. Taso piped up "Yeah, we`re in trouble. we oughta call this place the Dire Straits Club". And so it was. The next day he painted the sign on front of his beach hut. The Dire Straits Chess Club. I've got a photo of me and him by the sign, cracking up.

"I love chess", he said "but you don´t get the players here". No shit! He hoped someone would see the sign and pop in for a game, which they properly will. Enough people kept popping in while i was there, thinking it was a bar and then realising it was a chess club. "No beer here mate. just rum and chess".

He'd just came back from San Cristobel, another backpacking place, in the Chiapas near Palenque. Apparantly you can get a chess game there, anytime day or night.

Most of the games we played ended up being drawn. In my experience its not that often that chess games are drawn but we were drawing 50% of the games. Tasso found this amusing and blamed it on me. "they should call you the drawmaster. No one ever wants to play you because no one's gonna win".

His favourite line when he saw what moves I was planning was "I know what you mean, jelly bean".

"Oh baby he's coming for me. Rook takes knight, bishops takes knight and then you get my extra pawn on g5. I don't think so... can't let that happen... ain't never gonna happen". Then he'd play his move and comment modestly "thats trouble right there. Double rooks. Double trouble."

Tasso liked the simple life, although he was cynical about Mexico. I ran into him outside one of the two communal toilets that the camp shared. One of the toilets was blocked, and I'd just used the other one. "Yeah thats Mexico" he said.

Tasso figured the Mexicans were slow and lazy, and that nothing ever really happened in Mexico, which was kind of why he liked it. The Mexico word for tomorow is "manyana" by the way. And Manyana Manyana means the day after tomorrow. Tasso had his own thoughts on what manyana meant.

"Yeah, Manyana means its never gonna happen... and watch out for when those Mexicans call you "amigo". "Amigo" means they're gonna fleece you".

He kind of liked the fact that there was no electricity in Tulum and felt that when they did get electricity then this place would be gone. No electricity kept everything slow, no electronics. You can live in your own peaceful bubble oblivious to the rushing around of the outside world. Not having Tv and electronic stuff enables you to be where you are and appreciate it for what it is without escaping to another world. In that way you could enjoy Tulum properly and get what its all about, which is doing nothing. "Blah blah blah" as Tasso would say.

One time I was drinking rum and pineapple with him at about 11 in the morning. I'd suggested that we play chess on a table on the beach to soak up the sun and the beuaty of the place, but he wasn't having it.."it wouldn't work. You're mixing apples and oranges there mate"

So we were playing chess in the beach hut instead of swimming in the caribbean and i commented on how the pinapple juice tasted good with the rum. Tasso agreed and said "Yeah we don't have ice here, so the pinapple juice kind of works. Without ice, rum and coke is a bit blah"

After a few days I was thinking about moving south to Guatamala. I mentioned this to him.

"Why don't you stay for a while longer" he said, "I can you offer you .. nothing, because thats all there is to do around here"

Then we were talking about tourism and visting different places and he commented

"Why do they call the guides the LONELY PLANET? They've got like a whole directory of places and we're still lonely?"

Tasso didn`t care much for tourists. Not because they got in his way, but because they just didn´t get it.

"In America everyone thinks they're important because they're busy. Thats America. But here you're not important if you're busy because nothing ever gets done.... yeah America's not so good... in the US you get done for tax three ways, both inside and out."

"Yeah, people come here in hurry mode, you know.. They come from their jobs in wherever and they´re frenzied. Frenzied in Boston and then frenzied in Tulum. They don`t get it. Work, the office, faxes, emails, deadlines, blah blah blah... everyone`s always gotta be somewhere and worry about the next thing. They can´t stop and relax, but thats the reason they came here. And i tell them... and then they still don`t get it."

"yeah in a couple of months, they'll swarm on this place like locusts. Bucket loads of them, all some to see the ruins"

At this point I should tell you that there`s a backpacking hostel in Tulum town called The Weary Traveller. And so Tasso commented of the tourists, in a line that surely Jack Kerouac would have been proud of...

"yeah ... they come there.. they´re weary at the Weary Traveller, and then they get ruined by the ruins."

It was difficult to leave Tulum. Tasso said it was a high energy spot, and that people didn't realise it.. but they always came back. He gave me his email address. I couldn't see him going to internet cafes very regularly though

"I guess you don't pick up your emails too much" I said.

"Ah well, you know where I'll be. I'm going nowhere. Nowhere fast"

Sea fishing in Auckland

Went fishing last night with my new work mates on our "company boat". I've never been on a (powered) boat before and my first thought was of how dangerous it could all be. Terry is the ad manager of Trade-A-Boat magazine, a big Tongan geezer with 12 years deep sea fishing experience and understandably our skipper for the evening.

He insisted we all wear our life jackets, and warned us that pulling the self-inflate tags on our life vests would cost us $45 - for the recharge. He really got into the safety talk - telling us where flares were and SOS procedures should he be "rendered unconscious". Worrying stuff.

We poodled along out of the harbour and into the Hauraki Gulf at which point Terry hit the accelerator - or whatever the boat equivalent is. At this point I started to worry - which increased tenfold when we hit a big wave and I was propelled 6 inches out of my seat and 8 inches towards the rear of the boat. I dove to the floor in (the now infamous) starfish position and waited for the boat to settle.

We headed out to a GPS position Terry had been to before and checked the fish finder - which showed a decent amount of fish for a short session. In goes the rods of the four of us and within seconds Terry has a decent sized snapper. Shortly afterwards, Chris pulled out and even bigger one. Grant & I caught nought for a couple of hours.

By the time darkness was creeping in, I had caught one snapper (so small we had to throw it back), Grant had caught some decent sized ones and we were cooking sausages on the BBQ, drinking beer and singing to a mixture of crap Kiwiana music and Bob Marley - it was fantastic.

The evening ended too soon, but we packed up and prepared to head home - at which point Terry leaned over and yanked my inflate tag. Apparently the look on my face was priceless as I genuinely believed this Tongan was going to throw me overboard; not realising I couldn't swim! Still, it cost the git $45 - we're going to stick it up on the wall in the office.

The lifevest gets bloody tight, but I discovered that you can perfectly balance a bottle of beer in between the lungs of it and drink and hold on for dear life at the same time. All in all, it was one of the best evenings I've had - and I can't wait to go again...

Quill's Tour - Argentinian Steaks

3rd day in buenos aires. It's a pretty cool city. We´ve been out in bars pretty constant in between sleep. It gets going late here, clubs get going at 4-5 and then checking out of the hostel at 10.30 bit much. We´ve also been out eating steaks every night so far in traditional argentine parillas - mixed grill open bbq type places mainly for locals. Last nights was good.. very good, the night before was incredible (place called El Desnival for those who´ve been here) ... best steak ive ever had, forget kobi japanese beer reared stuff or gaucho grill, these guys are the undisputed daddys. The taste! I was stuffed but went on to order chorizo, sweetbreads and grilled provolone. Only men are allowed to cook at the bbq, just like in the UK!

Pool table in the hostel. All the travellers are shite. Numpty rules as well. One shot black merchants and can´t shoot backwards. Moved hostel from a grand central type place to a more mellow portobello road area called palermo viejo. Untold bars.

Made friends with two yanks so far - one wore a bandana around his head, and the other pronounced Chile "Chillay" as in "hey man do you like Chillayan food.. the surfs great in Chill-ay".

Quill's Tour - Boca Juniors vs River Plate

What a game.

When I heard I´d got tickets to the biggest, baddest derby on the planet I thought Santa had come early. Imagine the Merseyside or Manc derby and times it by 10. I kid you not.

I´d been speaking to a sound bloke (Boca fan) who worked at the Milhouse hostel we´d been staying in and had organised the bus trip to the game for all of us. He told me some recent history. Boca were top of the league. They´d won everything recently. They´re the best team in South America and are the holders of the equivalent of the european cup I believe - the copa or south american cup or whatever its called. They´ve won the Argentina championship the last three times. they´re an arrogant bunch that know they´re the best. This bloke was certain of the scoreline today. It was going to be 3-1 to Boca.

This time though the game was at the River stadium - a mad concrete urban hellhole of a thing which you have to go across a spaghetti junction to get through. Walking across the bridge to it I felt a bit of a buzz. I wouldn´t want to play here away. Forget that for a game of soldiers.

River by contrast were 2nd or 3rd in the league. Always been a good side but fallen on hard times recently, especially when it comes to playing boca. last won something two years ago (the championship - the championship here is 6 monthly by the way). They really needed a win to restore credibility and were 3/1 underdogs going into the game... and thats at home.

Becky and I both had quite big hangovers, having been to pacha till 6 and then up at around 10 to get to the game. The stadium holds around 70,000. we had to get there 2 hours early to get decent seats to avoid getting pis sed on by boca. Massive build up to the game - 2 whole football matches before it, one of them I think was boca reserves or yuth v river reserves or youth - a kid got sent off for over-celebrating. By the time the real game started the place was cooking. No alcohol allowed for any game in argentina and you can see why. This lot are mad for it, give them alcohol and you´d have a riot every game.

I´d already decided i was going to follow river because i hate mardonna cos of hand of goal. The dirty cheat used to play for boca, so boca could get screwed as far as i´m concerned. Charlie sniffing fat deigo.

To while away the time some mad dwarf next to me has bought a bin bag of newspapers and is handing them out to everyone to tear up into confetti to throw in the air when the team come out. There´s a serious 70 year old mafia looking bloke sat next to me, white hair slicked back, looking like he means business, all the locals for some reason have passed him their membership cards so he´s obviously some kind of daddy.

River fans are dressed in white and red, and believe me there´s a lot of them. The 70,000 stadium is completely full and 95% of them are River. These guys are screaming, singing chants, all in unison, seas of people.

The game kicks off, confetti everywhere and river hit the bar twice in the first minute. River score first from scrappy ian rush type goal then boca equalise with decent goal against the angles. The 2nd river goal is mustard though. Bloke picks it up from halfway line dribbling it past people maradonna style then slots in home once he´s in the box. Crowd go completley mental.. people hugging each other like long lost brothers who haven´t seen each other for 20 years.. a flag comes down on half the stadium completely covering half of the river fans who are now smoke bombing themsleves out on purpose with red and white smoke bombs to show how much they care. I´m choking with smoke and I´m on the other side.. and not under a flag! One geezer falls off a bit of the stadium in excitement.. about 40 foot...paramedics everywhere

By the time the 3rd goal comes in river are really dominating. Every time they go forward they look like they´re going to score. The third goal is through the legs of the keeper, and this one means so much because the River fans know it means they´ve won it (only about 14 minutes left of the game). The dwarf is flailing his flid arms around everywhere like a lunatic, Mafia man is making SOS signs at the boca fans and is screaming with gloat. In fact every fan is raging at the small quiet boca bit of the stadium and are coating them off.... v signs, two fingers, shake the coffee beans, SOS signs. The stadium is shaking so much that becky is getting scared - this big concrete thing suddently seems like its made out of plastic!

when final whistle goes, all you can see are seas of arms in the air. Everyone has their shirts off, waving them in the air. The whole Riverstadium ae all like one massive heaving entity.. one beast. Everyone is doing co-ordinated dances and chants. Cos i´m hungover and all the adrenalin... I´m struggling to speak properly. I´d stopped trying to capture the moment on camera after the first 2 goals and decided just to take it all in and enjoy the moment.

Boca fans are setting fires everywhere and tearing off the seats, throwing them at river and climbing across the thin walls to try and get near them (if you fall, you´re dead.. like jam.. twin towers style). security don´t fancy it, fireman are getting involved, policeman.. three helicopters in the air.. boca surrounded. the best bit was that its all par for the course.. the river fans are too busy celebrating to give a sh it.. a few of the calmer ones are even reading the programme- hello!.. no one interested in the full scale riot going on.. its just a normal occurence... loads of hard deadly chairs falling down 100 feet onto river fans... pure lunacy.

We saw the boca bus on the way back, guarded by police motorcycles and a bullet proof van... matey boy from the hostel who´d predicted 3-1 the other way knocked a bloke out getting to the window of the bus. leaning out of it and screaming "its ok, you´re still the best, we´re gonna the win the league again, don´t worry about it" etc (all in argentinian).

After he´d finished, he sat back down, caught his breath and I said to him "well at least you got the score right mate"...

Quill's Tour - Lima and heading down south

Alright chaps

We´re in Peru now in a place called Nazca. South of Lima. Not much here apart from some crop circle type things that we couldn´t afford to see (50 dollars each in a plane)

We spent a night in capital city Lima before we met up with the group that we are spenidng the next 3 weeks with. Lima is rough as ass holes by the way and we were in the posh bit - a suburb called miraflores. we met up with our group, who are all nice but a bit soft and don´t drink. I thought if this lot are doing the inca trail, then I´ll be sprinting up it. the only other bloke on the trip is an older chap who is a professor in pottery and ceramics. you get the picture. one girl who is about 18-19 stone and can´t actually walk properly said she wasn´t doing the trail because she was worried about altitude!

Another girl from the group, a vegan called Gemma, had been out in miraflores (the posh bit, remember) that day and had two blokes smash the windows in the back of the cab whilst it was stuck in traffic, trying to get her bags and trying to rip rings off her finger.. blood everywhere from shards of glass.. geezers slashing their arms up trying to get the stuff... they didn´t get anything´but she was pretty shaken up. Anyhow, she was walking around miraflores later with a friend, went into a bookstore and the owners told her to stay in the shop because two geezers were following them. And this is the good bit of town.

Our peruvian tour guide is sound, likes a drink, and knows his stuff. I asked him if he thought miraflores was safe. "Yes", he said, "but downtown Lima?", then he just whistled and shook his head.

Anyhow. We all went out on masse in Lima that night, to a salsa bar in Miraflores (i don´t do salsa but i like cuban rum) and a couple of bars in a place called Baracca which is a more local type of area, lots of tasty looking mexicans (blokes). Couple of pitchers of beer later and i went for my first p1ss in a lima bar, not without some trepidation. Anyhow, sure as eggs are eggs, there´s a peru bloke in the toilet (he seemed alright to be fair) commenting on the smell (which was a mixture between strong weed and faeces - a common smell in peru, drains are not too clever.) So he pulls out a wrap of his finest flake and offers me some. I thought that didn´t take long. I declined (couldn´t tell you why), so he shrugged and starting caning into it, rubbing his gums and so on.

by the way, the vegan girl in our group.. whats all that about? you don´t eat meat, fish, cheese, eggs, milk. As Becky said, you come to south america where they eat pretty much anything, they´d probably eat themselves if they could... guinea pig, llama, monkey, cats... and then you don´t eat fish or anything else either. She´s not eating salad also cos its washed in dodgy local water, and they don´t really have much vegetables in peru, so what does that leave? Yesterday she basically had spaghetti and ketchup and then went to bed.

Yesterday by the way we had a good day, we went to the Ballestas island near a place called Pisco. Ballestas is like a mini gallapagos but as good.

Our El Capitan for the trip was a scraggy Peruvian called Luis. He was wearing a brown racing jacket with Panska racing written on the back. Old Luis smelt of p1ss and was a bit of a lunatic... I think he´d been watching too many episodes of Miami Vice, he was driving proper fast in this boat to get to the islands.

I must admit I got quite into these islands (pelicans, peguins, sea lions), I´ll probably end up buying the box set of Blue Planet or something when i get back! Quill Attenborough.

Later that day we went to the driest desert in the world (per millimeters of rain) and went sand buggying near an oasis called Huacachina.. brilliant.. we were in one of those off road open rally cars with just a metal frame around us, seatbelted in... our driver was another one like Luis.. we absolutely twatted our way across these massive sand dunes it was like being on a rollercoaster. The feeling of being in a desert, nothing but sand as far as you can see is a bit different, and when you get out you feel like you´re burning up.

And then to top it off we went sand boarding, which is like snowboarding but on sand. its the opposite to surfing in that you put the weight on your back foot to accelerate and front foot to slow down. I didnt really know how to turn so I just went straight and absolutely hurtled down this steep slope (big ant would have p1ssed himself).. I went flying at the bottom but you don´t hurt yourself. I ache today though. Walking up a sand dune for just a few minutes is exhausting. Becky gave it all a good go and was first down the steepest slope.

by the way, the beer here is surprisingly good. they have one beer called Cusquena which is as good a beer as i´ve ever had (outside of germany, belgium and prague i suppose).

Thats it for now. Laters

Quill

Quill's Tour - Sliding down Volcano Villarica (with the runs)

Yeah, so the day before yesterday we climbed up this volcano called Villarica above Pucon. Pucon by the way means "entry to the mountains". Villarica is an active volcano, not dormant or dead or whatever. It last erupted in 1984. It is 2500 metres tall and dominates the town and its surroundings. Wherever you are, from whatever angle its always there in your face, looking down at you, challenging you to climb it.

We set out at 7am. It takes out five hours to climb the thing. You get a chair lift up for a small bit of the way and then the ascent starts. The chair lift by the way had no bar. At some point on the chair lift I realised that I had a bit of an upset stomach, nothing too serious at this point but I remembered how the waitress the previous day had poured some local water into my fruit juice.

This volcano is basically completely covered in snow and you have to wear ski boots and clampons (iron spikes) to climb the thing. Its too steep to climb directly so you have to traverse it. You have an ice pick as well to support you and help you from falling back down into Pucon. About half way up the climb starts getting steeper, the altitude higher (so you start getting headaches) and the weather colder, meanwhile my stomach problem is developing into an issue and I realise that I´m not going to have any control over it. Funilly enough they don´t have any rest-rooms on the sides of snow-capped blizzard-ridden volcanos. I´ve explained my problem to the guide and come to the conclusion that I´ve got three options.

Option A is to walk back down and give up doing the volcano.

Option B which the guide suggested was to just dig a quick hole with the ice pick and go to the toilet on the side of the slope in front of everyone! "Oh don´t worry" the guide said "everyone will just be looking at the view". Bear in mind that our party is not the only party of people on the slope, and that there are no rocks, trees... nowhere to hide basically, just an open white slope. It´d be like going to the toilet whilst sk-iing on an big wide red run. Taking your jacket and gloves off in blizzard conditions, undoing your braces, pulling down both sets of trousers, and just squating, balls swinging above the snow on an almost vertical mountain...

With that in mind I went for Option C.

Its a tough repetitive trudging climb up snow, because there´s no variation, everything is just smooth and steep... you can see where you have to get to, and the summit doesn´t seem to get any closer. I wasn´t able to have anything to eat or drink either (what goes in, must come out), so I had no energy and hardly any water! It was a lonely business as well, with only the occassional warm flurry for company.

Now I know how Rums felt that time at the Carnival. Its probably my bad karma for not helping him to the khazis.

When we got to top it was spectacular. You look over the edge and can see right inside this volcano (no lava though - not that time of the year). You see two other smoking volcanos from the top, and well as lakes, forests, towns... everyone is looking at all this whilst I´m plugging myself up.

But in all seriousness I was enjoying it up there... the guide was shaking our hands and congratulating us.

Then comes the fun part. The way that you get down this volcano is by "luge-ing" down, ie sliding down snow paths on your backside, so off we go. Actually I was a bit nervous about it for a couple of reasons. Kieran had also told me a horror story about when he did it and saw the worman who went before him at the bottom, with broken leg jutting out at right angles! Anyway this time the snow wasn´t as compact and we didn´t speed down. Also the cold from the snow kind of cancelled out the warm inside my trousers, and gives me the illusion that everything was ok. Anyhow we made it down at about 6pm. Becky said that climbing the volcano was the hardest thing she´d ever done.

yesterday we went white water rafting, which was the business. Far better than the previous time we´d done in it in Sri Lanka. That time we did grade 2 (beginner), this time was grade 3-4 (intermediate). Now I know what the fuss is about... good rush. I hear Queenstown, NZ and Tasmania are really good for it. Any other sugestions from rafting geeks (rich?) would be welcome. After the rafting we had some Pisco Sour that the guide had bought and then sat in some hot springs till midnight drinking the local beer, Cristal, out of cold litre bottles, nice and relaxing.

Pisco Sour by the way is a decent drink (a lot better than it sounds!). Its the local drink here. It consists of Chilean white brandy (called Pisco), mixed with lemon juice and sugar, like a Side Car cocktail in England/ US. Just my kind of drink. They make them nice and strong across the road in the Mamas and Tapas bar.

Today we are chilling out with an aussie called Brett who did the rafting and springs with us. Tonight we catch overnight bus to Santiago. And on wednesday morning at 7am we fly to Lima. We do the Inca Trail on the 7th November.

Quill's Tour - Crossing the Andes

Alright chaps,

We´re in Pucon, Chile, now. Arrived today.

Everything is all good, we´ve been doing large amounts of walking. 8 hours one day, 5 the next, 5 the next and so on. Walking up punishing 1400m mountains on hangovers all in training for the inca trail. Altitude sickness is meant to be like an hangover so best to get twatted the night before walking.

In Pucon we will climb a volcano as well and then do some trekking in Peru before the inca trail which is in about two weeks time. You need walking poles to do it because you have to climb hundreds of large steps and after a while it gets really tough on the knees.

I tell you what there´s loads of stray barking dogs in Argentina and Chile. I got barked off a fcking mountain the day before yesterday. We´ve got one outside our hostel now that never gives up.

Asking for things in Argentina can also be frustrating. The people here are sound and don´t give you a hard time, they do their best to communicate with you.. but sometimes it seems like you´ll say the right word in spanish and they still don´t get it. Becky asked for a coca cola yesterday and the waiter didn´t understand, like manuel out of faulty towers. Becky repeated it again"coca cola" and he didn´t understand and then the third time the penny dropped and he said "ah.. coca cola" which leaves you wondering where you went wrong.

The hostel we´ve just left (hostel Puma in san martin de los andes) is clean and cheap about a fiver each per night, but loads of lame rules everywhere, its like being back at boarding school. Here are only some of them:

"please leave your room by 10.30 during the day every day so we can clean your room"
"don´t touch anything thats not yours"

"please respect other peoples stuff.. if you´re not sure then ask us."
"be silent after 11pm"

"check out at 10.30, NO EXCEPTIONS"
"cooking between 7 and 11 only, NO EXCEPTIONS"

and my favourite... "your mother doesn´t work here, please wash up after you and put dishes in their right place"

today we left the place. They provide breakfast included by the way, which we didn´t have time for, but as i walked out i saw a sign above the breakfast table saying "Please be moderate, this is your breakfast not your lunch!".

We crossed the andes today at 6 in the morning. The bus I have to say was full of the biggest bunch of smelly border-crossing invalids you can imagine, all with bad colds and on their last legs. More like a chicken bus in Delhi than trans-andes coach crossing. All coughing away and spluttering, sneezing - all in a big chorus together... gobbing and splotting, phlemming, honking, hacking and hawking.. it was absolutely fcking disgusting. This wretched lot need to get some more vitamin c inside them, I tell you. Maybe they´ve run out of oranges in Chile.

Anyhow, we are now in Pucon, Chile now, and this is a cool place. On driving into it it looks a bit more third world but thats not really so. The chileans by the way are not european-looking like the argentinians, they are a bit darker, more like indians some of them. The sun is shining and there´s no wind... and its nice just to get some sun, pure and simple.

Hostel here is very nice rooms, looks like good vegetarian resturant and only about 10 quid a night for the room. Don´t speak great english though and the woman at reception is a sour grumpy old thing, no speak english and face liked smacked arse.

Tomorrow we are up at 6.30 to climb this volcano called Villarica, ice picks and all... and then to the hot springs in the evening, what a day!

Its 9 pm now, and I´ve just had my head shaved. Yes, finally - I´ve done it. To be fair it looks alright... the hairline and shape of head was better than I expected, I thought I might have pinball head or bean head.... obviously it is quite a shock to the system though... I look like a proper nutcase actually, like the neo-nazi bloke out of Romper Stomper. I´ll try and get you a picture when I can. Good job I never liked going to Brixton anyway. I´d best start doing some swimming or weights or something... if I rock up somewhere funny I´m gonna get the sh1t beaten out of me.

Laters.

Quill's World Tour

My mate Quill left the UK to travel the world for a year with his new bride - finally ending up with me in Feb/March next year before off on the home leg.

As a few of my "loyal readers" know who he is - and because his e-mail updates are more funny and interesting than mine - I thought I'd post them here...

I'll post the first three and then as often as he sends them. Language may be inappropriate for younger readers at times.

Settling into Auckland

The Girls: Emily, Mummy, Lauren, Amy, Jessica (in arms) & Fiona

Been in the new job for a week now and (so far!) I'm loving it...

Auckland is a much better place than I remembered and being back in the media business is meaning that I'm getting to see a lot of it in the course of my business day. My office is right in the corner of the ACP building -partially- overlooking the harbour in the Viaduct, where the best and most expensive restaurants are. Needless to say, I'm bringing in my own lunch.

I took a house share in Parnell (in the UK this would be Covent Garden) without seeing it and managed to get a result. The rent is cheap, the flat mates are a laugh at the weekend and silent the rest of the week. All in all, I'd say I was born under a lucky star.

I've been missing the girls terribly, particularly Clare - which I suppose surprised me. There's been many calls back and forth but I'm not the greatest at maintaining a phone relationship and I miss my best mate.

Molly has been playing up while I've been away and has been putting lots of pressure on Clare. I've tried to help out but there's no way of disciplining from distance. Molly gets on the phone and says "Hello Daddy, I love you Daddy and I miss you. Got to gooooooo". She knows she's due a talking to and is smart enough to leg it at the first chance.

I'm heading back down to Bulls next Friday early afternoon so should have completed the 550km journey by late evening for a long weekend. Then on Tuesday my job begins proper and the real pressure begins.

Heading over to the Sky Tower this Saturday for the Autotrader Awards which should be nice and keeps my mind busy.

Haven't taken any pics yet - but put up a a couple of shots of Amy's 21st birthday party.

Krause & Family - Steve's been getting extra cash as a stand-in on My Name Is Earl (as Earl AND Randy)

Three weeks till my Mummy arrives!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And the big news is...

...that I have a new job. In advertising. And in Auckland.

I shall miss my quarter-acre...

It's great money and working in an environment that I love with a company that has titles spookily similar to Haymarket (cars, lifestyle - even caravans!). I'll be the Classified Group Ad Manager, which for the uninitiated is a bit of a step up for me. I'll initially be running 8 titles and this will expand to 27 by the end of the financial year (July next year in NZ).


The awful part about it is that I'll have to relocate - initially without the family. Not sure how it's going to affect me but I imagine I'll be very busy, so that should help. It was a really tough decision for me, as I love the little life we've built in Bulls and I've finally found somewhere to call "home". We've put so much effort into this house that I just can't bring myself to give it up. Luckily, Damian has said he's going to rent it off us for a year (by which time the mortgage will be paid off) and we can keep it as a holiday home when visiting the in-laws, going to the beach, seeing friends etc etc.

Clare & I had many protracted conversations about what to do - and she's decided that she's going to quit her job in January and join me in the big smoke. Whether she'll work or be a stay at home mum is undecided, but I can't imagine Clare not working for any lengthy period of time.


This whole process has taken two months, with flights (when they paid) and drives (when they didn't) up to Auckland for interviews, presentations and finally negotiations. Lots of nail biting and questions as to whether I really wanted to do it. I've been spending as much time with the kids and missus as possible and finally leave Thursday week for the big smoke.

The room that Damian built

We've finally finished the majority of work on the house, as I'm sure is typical and I love what the place is like. Damian built the dining room extension from the floor up - he's a bloody clever fella. His work is obviously well thought of at the in-laws as well because he was working on a former school that David was going to sell but David's now decided to live in (part of) the school and sell his own house instead. It looks fantastic!


Of course Mummy & Tom are due over at the beginning of November and my move has put several spanners in the works - but ACP (the new employer) added some relocation money to my salary in lieu of return flights home at the weekend (mugs?).


My new boss is a South African that worked in the UK for 10 years with Autotrader and once he'd seen my CV asked someone he knew at Haymarket about me who gave a glowing reference - it would be ironic if it was Prash!!

Responding to spam with a traceIP and a nuke

I've got some serious expectations to live up to and a lot of hard work ahead - but I'm relishing the thought of it currently... ...wonder what I'll be like as I wave goodbye to the family...

More of Aloise crawling

Peek-a-boo Daddy!!

Aloise crawls!

Aloise has begun crawling - the first picture is of her first steps (??)!



More very recent pictures come after - I'm pretty pleased with them all. ALoise cut her first tooth yesterday, though we've been saying for months that she's been teething... trust me - when the tooth cut WE KNEW ABOUT IT!!!!!!!!!!!


Very big news to come, but I'm too tired now............................................................... (job related)

Fishing : The Flip Side

I went fishing again yesterday - and it was a totally different (though no less enjoyable) experience. We went down to our local beach and did some sea fishing from the sand. After an unusually successful catch last time I was prepared for a much smaller catch. And I was right.

I caught nothing, not a fish, not a crab not even a whelk. We'd checked the papers and it said that it was a poor day for fishing - mostly because it was a beautiful day. But I figured that these newspaper guys don't know very much. I won't make that mistake again!

We headed out an hour before high tide - but we didn't even get nibbles. Nick caught a crab - the biggest he'd ever caught but that was the extent of 3 rods and several more drops and hooks.

It was a really nice day though and I didn't mind, I'm going to go back on Saturday with the girls - expect photos. I took Nick's crab back home with me (I've heard he's given crabs to others too heh heh) and showed it to Molly. Judging by the look on her face it was the most terrifying creature she has ever come across...

Watch Jasmine Grow

Watch Jasmine Grow

Lots of pictures and stories about Claffy and his newly (ish) extended family. It's one of the blogs that I read every day - so maybe you'd like it too!

Fisherman Paul

Went fishing for the first time in my life today - or should I say angling. I'm totally addicted already. I caught a very little herring in my first 5 minutes and proceeded to catch about 10 in the day - most this small but some decent sized. Took them home and poached them but we decided against cooking them so the cats had a good feed. Great stuff.

Going to go shooting rabbits and possums with Damian and Brent tomorrow - should be a blast in more ways than one. Brent's got more experience and I imagine we'll be eating the rabbits - no idea what you do with the possums (if anything).

Probably not the first - or last - time I've had a "tiddler" in my hands...

Last ones for now!

Just wanted to send all our love to Great Uncle Mickey - sorry it took so long!!

Molly took the close up pictures - she's getting quite good!

"Daddy - you've got hair!"

Still in the garden...

Molly & Aloise In The Garden

KFC, Kids and Our Bed

As you can see - we feed our kids well... Actually it was my lunch that they stole - how could I ask these cherubs for it back???

Getting more random now

First a nice picture of Aloise, then a few pics of the girls in our new ensuite spa/bathroom/walk in wardrobe. Clare hates the colour but everyone else who has seen it loves it!

In case you're wondering, those are headrests behind me - it also has multi-coloured lighting (allegedly called chromatherapy), CD player, radio and heater... I love my new toy!

Molly still loves both her sister - and dressing up...

Dinner party & Molly reading...

Molly loves reading - in exactly the same places her Daddy does - and prefers the geeky stuff that Dady reads...

We held a costume murder mystery dinner party at our place - we mysteriously didn't manage to get pictures of ourselves though...

Nick & Emily walked home late at night (not far though)

Chris & Bronwyn drove to us and back - Chris even got out at the service station...